I recently had a friend recommend that I take a personality assessment called the Enneagram profile. I really love personality tests and what you learn from them, and I hadn’t heard of this one so I was excited to take it!
I took the assessment and realized I’m a seven, the “Enthusiast:” The Busy, Variety-Seeking type: Spontaneous, Versatile, Acquisitive, and Scattered. In Brief: “Sevens are extroverted, optimistic, versatile, and spontaneous. Playful, high-spirited, and practical, they can also misapply their many talents, becoming over- extended, scattered, and undisciplined. They constantly seek new and exciting experiences, but can become distracted and exhausted by staying on the go. They typically have problems with impatience and impulsiveness. At their Best: they focus their talents on worthwhile goals, becoming appreciative, joyous, and satisfied.”
And then I read on to find out that the Basic Fear of Sevens is being deprived and in pain. Suddenly it made so much sense.
I’m optimistic almost to a fault – ignoring reality and just continuing to be optimistic. Looking back after taking this assessment, I realized it’s because I want to avoid pain at all costs.
I’m walking through some really hard things right now. Things that I if I were to be blindly optimistic about, I would just be trying to avoid the pain, the reality of what I’m going through right now. So I’m trying to learn how to just sit and rest in this hard place. To take it all in, to try to concentrate on what I’m feeling and not just avoid it.
Here are some verses I’ve been meditating on:
The fear of the LORD leads to life,
and whoever has it rests satisfied;
he will not be visited by harm.
— Proverbs 19:23 ESV
Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
— Philippians 4:11-13 ESV
“Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!”
— Psalm 46:10 ESV